Part 1- Losing 40kg- How I lost weight and the lessons I learnt

Index

My journey
Be honest with yourself: Seek clarity

1) My Journey

I wasn’t sure where to begin with this one as there’s so much I could write. The article is aimed for those people who want to lose weight and don’t know where to start and those of you struggling on your journey. I’ll start by talking about my own journey and then go into steps that you can start implementing yourself. I hope this article will provide you with knowledge and actions you can apply straight away.

Before reading on, I just want to highlight that I’m NOT offering you a quick fix here. I am just providing you the information I have learnt over countless years and that I wish I had known when I was younger. In addition, I’ll be offering you steps to really transform your body and mind-set.

There are over 1000s of articles online on what the best way to lose weight. If you go on social media like Instagram, everyone seems to be a fat loss expert selling countless products and 30 day transformations.

You would think this would make weight loss easier but think again?

All this did was confuse and frustrate me!

I have pretty much tried to lose weight for over ten years. I’ve tried most types of diet including intermittent fasting, paleo, low carbohydrate diet, the ketogenic diet and vegan diets. I’ve tried fat burners, drinking lemon water, green tea and apple cider vinegar. I’ve had cheat days and I’ve tried fasting.

In addition, I’ve had countless friends and families tell me what I should be eating to lose weight and what I should do. Even though most of them have never lost weight and have no evidence to back up what they say. I once had a relative tell me I should cut out sugar, whilst they ate a bar of chocolate in front me (all I was thinking was if it’s that easy, why don’t you stop eating chocolate and show me!)

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying any of these diets, supplements or advice have their place but when it comes to losing fat but it doesn’t have to be as complicated as you think. Plus you have to remember it’s not just a physical journey but also a mental (psychological) journey. Hence, there are several factors to consider.

As I mentioned, I was always a chubby kid and hence I associated myself with that. I would have loved to have lost all the fat and trust me I did try but I just didn’t know how. I just sort of believed that I’d always be this way or that I’d grow out of it (I know that sounds stupid but it’s true!).

When I was around 13 years old, I started playing a lot of football and tried jogging in the morning, as well as swimming once per week and lost some lose weight. At the time I was still eating the same types of food which consisted of lots of chocolate and oven food (i.e. chips). Then around 16 I started playing less football and slowly the weight started to climb back on. I didn’t really have a specific aim back then. I just wanted to not be fat.

From 13 to 14 years old when I started being more active

I signed up to the gym around 16 years old and went every so often. I used some of the resistant machines and ran on the treadmill. I was too shy to try and attempt the free weights, as most of the guys there were mostly ripped and I was insecure and didn’t know what to do. Plus I didn’t know what I was doing.

During my undergraduate degree at university, I went to the gym every now and then but I still didn’t really know what I was doing. I would do a little bit of every bench press and then dumbbell curls and then on the treadmill or elliptical trainer. Plus at this point my diet was terrible consisting of a lot of fast food and drinking

As much as I hated how I looked during this time, I still didn’t have a clue about what I needed to do to lose weight. Most of my friends were not overweight, and hence I didn’t have anyone to relate with. In fact, some of my friends that were fit were regularly drinking alcohol and eating unhealthy which only confused me. I thought how could they eat and drink that way and not gain weight.

Then during my third year one of my best friends suggested eating less carbohydrates and using fat burners. I started using them and lost weight. These days I believe fat burners are a waste of money, but at that time I thought they were a magic pill. The truth is the main reason I lost weight was because I was exercising more and eating less calories (I’ll talk about this later).

From ages 19-21

Anyway, exams season kicked in and I stopped exercising, I stopped my diet as I wasn’t enjoying it and the weight started creeping back on. I still used fat burners during this time, I was sure they would help me keep the weight off, but they didn’t!!!

HOWEVER, the only difference this time when I lost weight compared to when I was 13, was that I finally was able to realise that I have control in losing weight by changing my eating habits and exercising.

It gave me HOPE!

However, as time went by I couldn’t change my eating habits and the fat remained on.

At the end of 2013 I went on holiday to Switzerland were I had a picture taken of me with family. I looked at myself and really hated how I looked. I’ve had this feeling countless times before but for some reason, this time it really sunk in that I needed to lose weight. But not only that, during this period I started following break-dancers and hip-pop dancers on YouTube and really, really wanted to be able to do what they doing.

Throughout 2014-2015 I started reading more books and attending workshops and courses. I expanded my knowledge of not just exercise and nutrition but also what it takes it to really form lasting change at a psychological level. I started eating better and exercising more and even plucked up the courage to start attending dancing classes more. Slowly but surely I was started trying different types of diets and started to realise all diet plans have a common theme and I lost 40kg.

Picture of me taken in July 2017

I have broken down the information I’ve learnt over the last ten years to 7 areas which I personally think are important on your own fat loss journey.

2) Be honest with yourself: Seek clarity

“Clarity is the child of careful thought and mindful experimentation”. It comes from asking yourself questions continually and further refining your perspective on life”- Taken from the book High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard

Seeking clarity is such important yet ignored part of fat loss. When I talk about seeking clarity I mean envisioning a clear goal you want to aim for and finding out why that goal is important to you.

Personally until I was 21, I didn’t really have a goal, all I want to be was not fat. This meant I had nothing to aim for and just going with a flow. This was NOT helpful for me at all. I didn’t know what my end result was. I would experiment with various diets and workouts, hoping the fat would come off. Although I had some success, it wasn’t very motivating and I fell off my fat loss plan easily. These days my goals are to increase strength and mobility/flexibility. I practice a mixture of bodyweight exercises and weight training and I centre my training around breakdancing and gymnastics. I’m not too bothered with looking like a bodybuilder and currently my I’m looking to try and get to 15% body fat. The food I eat is centred on giving me the most amount of energy possible throughout the day. The most important thing about all of this is that I enjoy what I eat and my workouts are helping me reach my goal.

So how do you seek clarity?

Well you need to asking yourself the right questions and experimenting to start finding out what you want. For example do you want to do calisthenics or body building? Do you want to aim to have a shredded 8% body fat physique or gain more strength to deadlift two times your bodyweight? I know this isn’t new cutting-edge advice but too many people really don’t have a clear vision of what they want. This means they can easily lose motivation and give up too easily without giving their training or diet a chance.

However, asking the right questions and choosing a specific goal isn’t enough. You need to know WHY you chose your goal. Are picking your goal because it’s something that excites you and something that will help push you OR because you’ve someone on Instagram and you want to be like them? The second option might sound good and I’ve met many people who use that reason but those types of reasons often aren’t motivating or satisfying in the long run, especially as you’re comparing yourself to someone else (I’ll talk about this later).

START BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF.

I found when I was overweight, I would sometimes lie to myself and tell myself I haven’t gained weight. Its sounds so stupid but in an effort to make yourself feel better, we can often lie to ourselves. A large part of initially losing weight is about being honest and acknowledging that you have gained weight and that you need to make a change. You also have to be honest with what your weaknesses are and with you expectations. If you’ve never been to the gym, you can’t expect to go to the gym and expect to squat 180kg.Similarily you can’t expect to lose 5kg in one week.

After you discover what you want you need to set goals to aim for. Setting these goals will give you more control and hence help you be consistent.

Ultimately your goals need to energise you, push you out your comfort zone, satisfy you and be to be IMPORTANT TO YOU. If you can define your goals precisely, then the goals will be more achievable.

Also remember, when you start losing fat, your wont often know what you want and THAT’S OKAY. I experimented millions of time, from wanting to have a six pack, having an athletic appearance to looking like a body builder. However, as you continuously keeping asking yourself what you want and take action, you will eventually find what works and doesn’t work for you.

Try and block 30min to an hour each week to review your weekly, monthly and annual goals to check if you are on target with your goals and if not examine why.

SMART goals

SMART goals are a method to create goals that have clarity. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic/Right for you and Timed. For example below is a goal I set for myself 4 years ago:

SMART GOAL- “I will walk 5 days every week for 60 minutes each”

S-The above example is specific because it is clear and easy to understand. If the goal had said exercise then that would be general. There are many different exercises. Will you go running or will you do weight training?
M-The above goal is measurable as you track the progress and you will know when you have achieved it i.e. 60 minutes.
A-The above goal is achievable. I knew that every day I had time to walk 60 minutes and that it wasn’t to too extreme. An extreme goal would have been aiming to lose 5kg in body fat every week.
R-The above goal is realistic and right for me. I enjoy walking and it gave me a chance to also listen to audiobooks. I also knew I was doing it for myself and not to impress others.
T– The above goal is timed. So there is a deadline and duration of exercise to aim for.

Bonus To make these goals really strong, visualise your goals and describe how it feel after you accomplish the goals. E.g. if it will make you proud, imagine yourself being proud of having accomplished your goal. Be specific with the details, so how do you stand when you’re proud and how do you feel when you’re proud.

Below are some questions you could ask yourself.

I understand that you may not all the answers and they may not be relevant to you (that’s fine just skip them). Keep reviewing them weekly or monthly. If you think there are too many questions, just answer the “bonus” questions in the red box below.

Why is losing fat important to ME?
Why do I want to lose fat and will this reason make me happy?
Am I overweight and why (be specific)?
Do I need to get more understanding to how I can lose fat? How can I do this?
Do I want to lose weight to feel good about myself or to impress others?
What do you want to look like in 1 years’ time?
Am I prepared to be a little bit uncomfortable and change my daily diet and routine a little bit?
How much fat do I want to lose?
What days can I exercise? Will I commit to this?
What would be your dream physique look like and why?
What kind of body will make you happy?
What can I do to today to start losing fat?
Do I emotionally eat or have an eating disorder? How do I know if this is true or am I lying myself because my scared? How can I get professional help?
What kind of sports or exercises have I always wanted to try? Why haven’t I tried them? How can I try them? Do I have time this week to research online?
What type of sports or exercises do I enjoy and why?
Do I want to pay for a gym membership or can I train at park or home?
Will I be committed to exercise myself? Will I need to invest in a coach?

Bonus
The Cartesian questions are a tool I picked up from a coaching course which can be used to establish a deeper understanding into your goals. I have adapted them here for fat loss. Simply answer the following questions BUT be specific with the details:
1) What would happen if DID lose body fat?
2) What would happen if you DIDN’T lose body fat?
3) What WOULDN’T happen if you DID lose body fat?
4)What WOULDN’T happen if you DIDN’T lose body fat?

Thank you for reading this so far, Part 2 will be uploaded soon and will cover more about what to eat so that you can actually lose weight and how to build better habits.